when i first started researching it for a paper last term, the first book i read made me physically ill.
female genital mutilation
circumcision
cutting
the cutting, removal, of the clitoris,
removal of all the outer genital parts, and enclosing of the vaginal opening
stitches with acacia thorns
the descriptions used by so much of the literature are so present, so real
they describe the screams of the girls, the children, the smell of the blood
it's designed to make you hate it, to cause shock, dismay, horror, repulsion
i thought i was over it though. quickly hardened to the cold bare facts of the subject. its true i usually skip the descriptive bit when im reading these days, but even when i do read it, im mostly numb to the intended emotional reaction of the words.
or so i thought.
recently i had even almost begun to think that it really was none of anyone's business what a particular group choose to do to their genitals, that ideas of sexuality were so socially constructed that the importance of a clitoris might be overvalued anyway.
the other night i had a revelation to the contrary.
and it has left me deeply saddened. deeply emotionally attached to these women ive been reading about, to these women whose suffering drive the activism of so many devoted women across the globe.
gone is my supposed academic distance, my objective view of the subject
instead i feel sorrow, on behalf of women who don't know that they should be sorry, who believe that what they are living is what is right, what is good, what is pure, what is just.
maybe it's just my idea of good and right against theirs, perhaps it is highly, and injustly, superior of me, as well as presumptuous, to impose my sorrow onto them.
but i do. whether they want it or not, whether it is right or not. i am deeply, truly sorry.
3 comments:
Hi there, I've come here at the suggestion of Stevie! Was very interested and rather moved by this last post of yours. I know just how you feel. I lived in South Africa for 20 years and this kind of mutilation still occurs in remote rural areas there, as does the castration of young men. Dreadful dreadful damage is done and frequently these young people die from the wounds inflicted by their customs. I feel very very sad too when I think of it.
Oh my dearest heart, I am in full agreement with you.
You brought far more awareness to me regarding this subject, prompting me to learn more. I was appalled at not just the mutilations, but at my own ignorance as well.
It is women like you, amazing women like you, that help the rest of us open our eyes.
I love you.
I am so amazingly proud of you.
you are truly one of my greatest joys.
thanks for your comments vallyp.
i do still think there's a ridiculous amount of hypocrisy, even in me and my sorrow, but for any "western" woman to impose her own ideas of sexuality and feminism on another woman (i'll probably post at length about this later). especially considering how incredibly sexist our own culture remains, and how women in this culture abuse their own bodies for the sake of 'beauty'.
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